Dell, HP, Lenovo, Acer to offer bloatware-removal service with new PCs
In a press statement released yesterday, four major brands providing desktop and laptop computers to home and business users, namely Dell, HP, Lenovo and Acer, have announced to offer a new Bloatware Removal service, available immediately with all new PCs and laptops. IT reporter spoke with Stephen J. Felice, President Consumer, Small and Medium Business, with Dell; Matthew McConnelly, spokesman for the Association Against Bloatware, and asked end users to for their opinion as well.
Dell: New service dramatically improves end-user experience
Asked about the necessity and merits of the new Bloatware Removal Service, Mr. Felice from Dell said, “This is a true breakthrough in increasing the product value for the end-user. We recognized that although we do a great job in providing numerous opportunities to consumers to either spend hours on software removal, or spend money on subscribtions or mediocre products – we realized that in the end, people might want to use clean, fresh computers.
Given our huge investment in automatically filling up new computers with all the latest of nagging antivirus trials, pushy backup utilities and other annoying software that pops up every 5 minutes, it seemed only logically we would offer removal of all this junk as a separate service. You can just call and we’ll send a Certified Bloatware Uninstaller who will scrub your new computer in a few hours, for a fixed price of just $250, regardless of how polluted your computer is!”.
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Association Against Bloatware: Big step forward
Matthey Connelly, Chairman of the Association Against Bloatware, expressed his deep satisfaction with the new service, which has been the result of years of protests and lawsuits against the four major brands. “Yes, finally I’m a happy man”, said Mr. Connelly, “This is a huge improvement. Now people can just click to add the Bloatware Removal Service directly while ordering, and within days after delivery, you can actually use your computer without all that crap.”
Mr. Connelly, who runs an IT support business aiming at home users, actually developed skin problems after dealing with countless brand new PCs and laptops, bursting with bloatware. “Yeah, I just got a rash from that stuff”, he acknowledges. “I mean, for Christ’s sake, you turn on a brandnew Lenovo laptop and bam, some stupid face-recognition twaddle already pops up! Or it’s the fucking Norton that wants my money. Or some super-toolbox util that eats up half of the memory. God, I’m glad I can just order someone to have it all removed!”.
End user: Love the bloatware, rather have some more
Although common sense dictates end users should be glad to have their newly purchased equipment free from bloatware, not everyone seems interested. Madeline Johnson, a 27 year old housewife from Nampa, Idaho wrote on her blog, “I love bloatware. I even got a bumper sticker for it! I’ll tell you why. It’s just great to know that you can’t really mess up anything, because it’s already really messed up. Icons everywhere, lots of stuff installed, notifications and popups all over the place… so cozy! Kinda like my living room. Clean computers just give me the creeps.”
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