New Facebook rival emerges, provides better privacy
Last week a new social network website was launched, specifically targeting all those who are concerned they are forced to reveal too many private details on Facebook. Everyone can now relax and move to Footbook.com, say founders Marc “Big Toe” Franklin and Chris “Flat Foot” Rivera. The New York Times got the chance to speak to powers behind what they called “a new social movement”.
Introducing Footbook.com
Franklin and Rivera look like ordinary Computer Science students, but it quickly became apparent they were born for Big Things, they claim, although they also admitted to the New York Times spending a few lost years on maintaining a small foot fetish community website.
“Facebook is already losing its grip”, Marc Franklink told NY Times reporters. “People are completely losing their mind sharing every little thing with everyone on the damn planet. We thought we could better, so we did. Footbook.com keeps things simple and secure by focusing on your foot. Yes, that’s right. They are at the very base of our life, so it is only natural we concentrate on how they look and what they are doing”, according to Mr. Franklin.
Profiles on Footbook
Footbook.com founder Marc Franklin loves his foot
Profiles on Footbook are a “fresh breeze” compared to the overwhelming amount of information one is supposed to provide on Facebook, Rivera added. With the free Foot Cam, that is provided to every new account holder, you can attach a camera to your lower leg, so every step you take can be recorded and uploaded real-time to your Footbook.com profile page. Other details, such as the length of each individual toe, date and time of the most recent nail clipping, favorite massage oil and tips on creating gorgeous-smelling toes, can also be added to the profile.
“So, you see, it contains everything that really matters, and nothing more”, Chris Rivera pointed out to NY Times reporters. “Faces are overrated. You can see them all the time, with those creepy eyes always looking at you. But feet are really pure. They reveal the essence of your being. And with Footbook.com it’s a snap to capture the miracle of walking and standing.”
Great privacy
As photos of faces are strictly off-limits at Footbook.com, account holders never have to fear for their privacy. They can easily make friends, or better said footsies, with someone who has a similar difference in length between each foot, also prefers to wear one sock inside out, or likes to massage their snake with their toes. “We just knew that many of us would love to get down to the basics, in terms of body parts and in terms of connecting with others, so it is not surprising at all we see so many Facebook account holders cancelling immediately the moment they hear about Footbook”, Franklin told the NY Times reporters. “We don’t require people to make footprints or explain to anyone why they have a bunch of suspicious tattoos on their ankle. That’s why people feel so releaved. Look, this foot here looks really happy to me!” said Rivera, pointing at a photo taken in what appeared to be a morgue.
A bright future?
Recently, shareholders of Footbook Inc (NYSE:FTBK) have voiced concerns the founders’ personal interests in feet is consuming their ability to operate the business properly. Franklin was arrested for possession of XTC at The Sock Room in downtown LA last weekend; Rivera was held for interrogation after he tried to take people’s shoes off in a big shopping mall in San Francisco. The founders did not comment on these events in their NY Times interview.
